“Be Here…just be here”.

Wow, I am amazed what a fight is it is to be present. Maybe it’s from my upbringing. I have this father, this amazing incredible father, who makes all glasses seem half full, all nights seem solely for the purpose of a star display, and all wounds are trophies that tell where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. So naturally I in turn, am a “big picture” thinker/dreamer. Life is nothing but one big possibility waiting for me, or more appropriately, for God to say when. I can jump high, I can touch the moon and have it if I want it. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me“Phil 4:13 And I can change the world. I love that. That’s who I am, because my dad said so. My mom enforced it with her encouragement and love. But often dreamers have a hard time being. I have a hard time being, because I want to be over there, or up there. Right now. But since I’ve been in this new season I’ve been learning that, “Beholding is becoming.” “That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple.” Ps 27 It’s okay and in fact necessary, for me to behold the possibilities and know that I can, but yet chose to fight for the “now” factor. I want to be here 100% here, not 10 years from now when I have my 12 kids and amazing_____. There’s a lot of things that fill in that blank, things that don’t need to be displayed for the whole world, but they’re there. And my picture is so precious to me, it’s good, but in the end it’s just a picture. It’s not now, and maybe not even then… but I know what is, I know who is, and “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” I Cor 2:2 He is what I want, and have now. So, “God come and be with me more than yesterday, and tell me what I need now, and what is on your heart for these that you so love. Now, this moment. You are my beginning and ending and that’s all I need to know…for now.”

In closing Jesus says:

“25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life…1So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:25-34

Psalm 131

1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

~amen